The Cult of Glorkimble
Original Release Date: 12/25/2999
It's that time of year again! When we warn you not to summon Glorkimble. We warn you that Glorkimble's judgmental spear will strike fear (and well-wishes) into the hearts of children, both good and bad. We warn you not to put out ziggle fruit, and we beg you not to say its name. And we certainly must warn you not to listen to the album How To Summon Glorkimble, because you will, undoubtedly, summon it if you play these beats. No matter how tasty they are, no matter how much you want to spin them round and round your shuttle, your dome, or your underground lair, we must advise you not to. Every year, we offer the same caution, and every year Glorkimble is summoned by someone bucking the trend we have fought these many years to suppress. Do not be one of these fools, who must summon the massive, hungry beast of twinkling lights, dozens of eyes, and green, fragrant needles for their own amusement (only to be devoured). How To Summon Glorkimble was a massive hit when first released (who would have thought its title was a warning and not an invitation), and now we must live with our mistakes for the foreseeable future. Unless, dear Audionauts, you resist the urge to play it this very day and keep Glorkimble at bay for at least another intergalactic year. Stay vigilant, stay safe, and stay away from Glorkimble.
Side A
The Night Before
Try The Ziggle Wine
All Work & No Play
Thick Layer of Ooze
Side B
Deciduous Sacrifice
Gift of Needles
Stocking Stuffer
...And To All A Good Fright