Glorkimble
Original Release Date: 12/25/5000 (0000 AM)
RUN! Dear, Audionauts, the prophecies are true! Glorkimble has returned to cast upon the masses its Glorkmas vengeance! As you set out plates of tasty ziggle fruits to ward off the creature’s hunger, please note that this technique has been widely debunked. Glorkimble, who was thought to have ten tentacles (and just as many brains), was once a tale as old as time. Now, it is a massive, hungry beast of twinkling lights, dozens of eyes, and green, fragrant needles (its true form), spreading cheer and chewed-up bones across the universe in its merry wake. We have but a mere moment to tell you about Glorkimble Returns, the ultimate takedown of an industry that exploited Glorkimble to rake in trillions and trillions of Space Bucks. It was time to take control of everyone's favorite holiday, and the eight haunting, terrifying beats burned into this vinyl will certainly be the only Glorkmas songs we have for a very long time to come. So, you'd better watch out; you'd better start crying; Glorkimble can smell you from lightyears away, and it is HUNGRY. Look out (and rock out)!
Side A
I RETURN
FEED ME
NAUGHTY
NICE
Side B
YOU MUST BURN
GIFT FOR BELLY
BE MERRY
I AM CHEER